About Us

Beloved, you have not found a band. 

You have found a Church.

The account of our beginning is not to be trusted.

It is said that in the Year of Our Undoing, when the old gods were fat with incense and the new gods wore badges, screens and dollar signs, a Serpent in the form of a star lowered itself over the Western dark and wrote one command in smoke upon the dust:

Gather the cast-off things

Then the old hymn cracked.

Out of it came dust, and fever, and the odor of the rain on a burnt field. Out of it came the nameless congregation, each bearing in the left hand a candle, in the right hand a wound, and blood upon the tongue. 

Let it be known to those with ears beneath their ears: 

The Devil came not as goat, nor king, nor red cartoon for frightened children, but as the first clear thought after obedience had failed. 

He stood in the smoke and said: 

Name thyself, or be eaten by the names of others.

Therefore we sing.

We sing as the buried root sings to split the stone. We sing as the match sings before the mansion burns. We sing as the condemned sing when they discover the rope around their necks is only another kind of necklace.

And when the hymn was ended, no mouth had closed

Beloved, do not ask when the Church began, 

Ask what inside of you responded when it called.

What We Believe

We believe in self-creation over obedience.

We reject the idea that human beings are born broken, fallen, or inherently unworthy. We view life as an act of continual becoming, a process of shaping the self through experience, knowledge, desire, discipline, suffering, and will.

We believe freedom without compassion becomes cruelty, and compassion without freedom becomes control. The outsider, the strange, the cast out, and the damned deserve dignity, autonomy, and a place at the table.

We believe mythology matters, even when it is not literal. Satan, Set, Lucifer, the trickster, the rebel angel, and the wandering outlaw are powerful archetypes through which humanity has explored liberation, knowledge, alienation, and transformation for centuries.

We believe the sacred can be found in the dive bar, the desert highway, the horror film, the late-night confession, the broken heart, the ritual circle, the funeral procession, and the last cigarette burning beneath a neon sign.

We believe no institution, government, church, corporation, or ideology should stand above the sovereignty of the individual spirit.

Above all else, we believe in becoming exactly who you are, without apology and without permission.
Is This A Real Church?

Come see for yourself at a service soon. We're probably not a cult.

How Do I Join?

Beloved, if you are asking the question, the question has already answered you.

No one stumbles upon the First Church of the Last Days by accident. Some are dragged here by prophecy. Some by bad decisions. Some by a flyer, a friend, a fever dream, or the algorithmic hand of the Adversary. However you arrived, know this:

You have been called. 

Joining the Church is simple. Come to a Service. Put your name on the mailing list. Sign up for the Patreon. Stand close enough to the fire that your old life starts to smell nervous. 

Patreon members receive exclusive transmissions, behind-the-scenes relics, sermons, songs, rituals, and other forbidden paperwork from the Church archives. The particularly devout, lucky, cursed, or easily volunteered may even find themselves participating in a future service. 

The First Grimoire of the Last Days is also coming soon. It will be free to read online for all who seek it, with physical copies available for those who prefer their sacred texts in a form that can be held, hidden, spilled on, or dramatically placed upon an altar. 

There are no purity tests here. No golden ticket. No secret handshake, though we are open to developing one. 

Come to a show. Join the mailing list. Subscribe to the Patreon. Read the Grimoire when it arrives.

The door is open.